The Emotionally Slutty & The Bag Lady
By: Dee Rene
“Bag lady, you gon’ miss your bus. You can’t hurry up. Cuz you got too much stuff.” – Erykah Badu, “Bag Lady”
If you’ve ever dated someone longer than 20 minutes, it’s likely you’ve also encountered heart-break. With each heart-break, hopefully you learned some nugget of truth to pack away in your emotional baggage. Sadly, many of us are also packing the bricks of pain from that heartbreak too. Slowly but surely we become the bag lady Erykah badu was singing about.
Our baggage contains many things – daddy issues, weight problems, self-esteem breakdowns, financial burdens and everything in between. Although each and every experience should shape you and give you some valuable lesson, you cannot take all of that with you to a new situation. There is a limit.
Everyone is allowed to have baggage but you are only allowed two carryon items. When we enter into a relationship dragging a 10-piece-matching-luggage- set of hot pink pain and despair there’s no way for us to truly be with someone new. You crowd out love and miss out on opportunities to love and be loved with all of that baggage.
Does this mean you need to be a perfect person who has never been hurt to get a man?
Absolutely not.
But you owe it to a new man to enter the relationship as a whole heart, not broken pieces in a zip lock bag. If you are curious why you can’t seem to attract love, it may be your huge bags getting in your way. Men only like to fix up cars – not women. He is willing to help you carry your issues but everyone has a breaking point. Trust me, no man is helping you with that 10-piece-matching-luggage set. You’ve got to downsize on your own and enter the relationship whole.
Women also tend to enter into relationships being emotional sluts. You are essentially doing too much, too soon, and too often.
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