Satan in a Sunday Hat: The Good Man Swindle By: Dee Rene
“Girl he’s just Satan in a Sunday hat!” – @nuclearnellie
The first time I heard my homegirl say this I died in laughter. Imagine satan just walking around in a Sunday hat trying to blend in with the saints. When I stopped to think about what she really meant I had to take a step back. She was talking about the Good Man Swindle.
The “good man swindle” is the guy who has all the actions and words of a good man, but he’s really not deep down in his heart. He’s the guy that is telling you all the right things. The only problem is that he’s telling every cutie with a booty the same things as well.
What are some of the characteristics of this Satan in a Sunday hat?
He blames every woman in the past for why he’s single. As I discussed in a previous
article, if everyone you dated was supposedly “crazy” then it says a lot more about you than your exes. He’s probably trying to play the victim role. He’s so sweet and you want
to rescue and put together his broken heart with your love. Only you find out a few weeks later WHY everyone left him. They weren’t crazy to begin with, he drove them that way.
No straight answers and a whole bunch of questions. Truly good men tend to be honest. You won’t have to use CIA level interrogation techniques to get a straight answer
out of him. Think about it this way – if you talk to your good man and walk away from the conversation with more questions than answers there’s a good chance he’s not as
good as you think. Yes, he is attentive, loving and whispers sweet nothings in your ear at night. But if you feel like his ambiguous answers are hiding something, chances are you
are right.
Beaters. This seems like an OBVIOUS answer but you’d be surprised how many women are fighting emotional, physical and mental turmoil in relationships with men that appear
to be good on Monday and are unrecognizably crazy by Friday. In a past relationship, I dated a man who took care of my every need but at the drop of a dime would flip the
script and take me down an emotionally abusive path. Every time I convinced myself that I wanted to leave him, he’d turn into the guy I fell in love with and be a “good man.” I
kept playing the highlights reel of when he was good to me and tried to ignore the bad.
He was playing a good man as needed, but deep down he wasn’t good at all.
Cheaters. No matter what he says, sleeping with multiple women on different occasions is not just so he can see how much he loves you. He acts like a good man in that he says
all the right things. The problem is he is saying those sweet things to every woman he finds attractive.
Fades over Time. Just like a fake gold chain, this man’s good guy qualities begin to fade. Who you are on day 1 of the relationship should not drastically change on day 100.
If he was calling, sweet, loving and present during the first weeks of your relationship like a good man – he should still be that way on day 100. Maybe not as intensely but
he shouldn’t suddenly be hard to reach and forgetting your birthday either. My mother says true character only shows in time and when people get comfortable with each other.
Don’t convince yourself he’ll return to the “good man” you first met. He did what he had to do to get you in his life, and now he can let down the façade and show you his true
side.
So keep an eye out ladies. Every good man isn’t as good as he seems. Get to know him before you truly give over your heart and become a victim of the good man swindle.
Visit Dee’s own blog over at LaughCryCuss.com
