The secret to a long lasting relationship is no secret. It’s called the “3 C’s”; communication, compromise, and commitment. If you ask most couples, the ones who’ve been together for a substantial amount of time anyway, they’d tell you the same thing. Sounds easy enough, right? Of course, nothing is as easy as it seems. But take a look at some of the reasons why following these three rules can be good any your relationship.
Communicating: Can go a long way. But it takes two mature adults able to handle and accept the truth for it to be effective. Can you tell your partner everything? No. And, honestly, you shouldn’t. Preserving some mystery in your relationship can actually help you both. But being honest (while compassion) can open the flood-gates for more honesty and compassion.
However, once you’ve decided to be honest and open, also, be careful not to hold grudges against your partner because you didn’t like what they had to say or even agree with it. It is their truth, and although you do not agree, it’s important to let them feel comfortable talking to you about it. If you can, discuss it, resolve it, then move on. Harboring ill will and resentment will cause more problems in the long run. And, your mate will no longer want to talk to you.
On another note, be careful what you say and how you say it. Sometimes, too much honesty can be detrimental to your relationship. Telling your partner about the time you and your ex decided to be spontaneous and have a rendezvous on the beach is not the kind of honesty and information you should probably share. It’s the past and anything in the past that is insignificant should remain insignificant.
Honest about things that are conducive to your relationship and leave he past in the past.
Compromising: Can be a tough one, especially when you believe you’re right and want to be right. Unfortunately, this is where your pride and ego can get in the way. You’ve got to put your pride aside, and even lose an argument, to win in your relationship. It’s not always about who is right but, more so, what’s right for the relationship. What can benefit the both of you. If an argument can be avoided, by all means, avoid it! When you look at the grande scheme of things, you may want to ask yourself, ‘Is it worth it?’, and if the answer is ‘no’, then let it go.
Often times your mate may nag, complain and fuss but all they really want is to just feel appreciated. They want to know you still care. A simple, “yes”, “okay dear” can get you pretty far, even if you don’t always think they’re right. But if it won’t kill you to give in, from time to time, then just do it.
And when that all fails, there’s Commitment! It may even be the most difficult task, but, if you really love your partner and want things to work out, good ole fashion commitment is your answer.
Every relationship goes through difficult times. But, it is how you handle those difficult times that will determine if you can weather the storm. In conjunction to commitment, I must also add, patience! You can’t always have what you want when you want it. And with that, you can’t demand your partner be what you want them to be when you want it. Be patient. With that, it’s also important to give each other some space. Do fun activities separate from each other. You may find, you can appreciate each other more when you’re able to still hold on to your own individual identity. If you nurture your own individual growth, your relationship, too, can grow. Again, have patience and stay committed.
