Would you give your spouse a hall pass to cheat? That’s exactly what Toya Wright did with husband Memphitz Wright.
In fact, it was the former A&R Executive who revealed the contract between he and his wife to divorce attorney and relationship counselor, Vikki Ziegler, during the couple’s appearance on Bravo’s Untying the Knot.
According to Vibe.com, “Toya Wright’s marriage to Memphitz hit rock-bottom when the reality star/entrepreneur ex-wife found photos of naked women on her camera.”
And get this, Wright even gave her husband up to eight hall passes each year the couple remained married.
Yup, you read that correctly.
“She gives me eight days a year to do what I want, no questions asked,” Memphitz said. When asked if his wife is afforded the same pass, he laughed incredulously. “She a woman, she a girl. What I’m saying is, men, we’re built a little different than you.”
Of course he’d say that, right?
But in an interview with The Rickey Smiley Morning Show, Toya clarified her husband’s claims.
“As far as the hall pass thing goes, I felt like I was already at the friend zone with Mickey,” she said. “We were moving in two totally different directions, so go ‘head! Do what you do. That’s what you wanna do. Because guess what? My focus is on my businesses, and my No. 1 priority is my daughter. You can’t get it together and it’s so much going on, I’m not about to be bothered with that. And let me set the record straight: That stuff never came about when things was all good.”
Also See: Is Publicizing Your Relationship Woes Healthy for Your Relationship?
And Toya isn’t the only celebrity wife speaking in favor of giving her husband a pass.
Comedian and Academy Award winning actress, Mo’ Nique, reiterated much of the same during a recent interview.
Mo’, whose been married to husband Sidney Hicks for nine years, had this to say.
Often times people cheat because of something they’re not getting. But when you have open and honest dialogue and you say we’re just human beings and all these people on the face of the earth, do you think my eyes won’t ever say ‘he’s fine’ or ‘she’s attractive’. Now if you wanna go further with it, let’s be honest enough to have those conversations. What is it about that person that you find that you wanna sleep with? Because they may give you something that I’m simply not willing to do. And if that’s the case, how can I be mad? Because I’m not gon’ do it. Should I deprive you of not having it? That’s when the relationship is really real.
She went to say…
The person that you stood up and you said ‘for better, for worse, sickness and in health, richer or poorer’ you took those vows in front of the universe. If you don’t live by them, then maybe you shouldn’t have taken them. And when you say ‘a pass to cheat’… see when you’re with your best friend and you say to your best friend ‘I’m having these feelings about this person, sexually and I wanna share it with you’.. when you’re best friends, you can have those open and honest conversations.
The actress even tried to further explain her point by comparing her belief to that of African empires where Kings were allowed to have multiple wives.
See, we’ve been taught to have ownership and that’s the western way to do it. I’m not sure where you originate from, but I originate from this place called Africa. And what I know of African kings…tell me about one of them that just had one wife. You know any of them? I don’t! That’s where I originate from so when we came here we adapted other people’s ways.
Hmmm… I think Mo’nique should do some thorough research because the Africa I learned about also had societies where their queens had multiple husbands.
Mo’ too went on to later clarify her statements following backlash from many of her female fans.
Here’s what she tweeted on Wednesday.
I think Mo’Nique could have kept this one to herself, wouldn’t you agree?
For Mo’s full interview head over to Ice Cream Convos
Now here are my thoughts. Although I’ve never been married, I think it’s fair to ask, ‘if anyone needs a hall pass to cheat while married,’ then what’s the point in getting married? You can very well be together and not marry then, right? A “hall pass” goes against the very essence of what it means to be married.
In traditions where a man has multiple wives, he must also be able to provide for his wives and extended family, and, take on the responsibilities that comes with being the head of a multi-household.
And although polygamy is not something I believe in, there’s much more involved than a sexual attraction to another person. In my opinion, Mo’s statements lack responsibility. It provides a bias opinion of a polygamist society and removes concern for what it means to go outside of your marriage.
This isn’t just about sex. It’s about two people making a commitment to each other and being responsible for the other’s well-being; including their mental, emotional and even their physical health.
The actresses statements ignores the concerns for STD’s within marriage and children born outside of wedlock by parties that are very much married to another person. Not only is a person’s trust violated, even in situations where they allow their spouse to explore else where, but the children involved are potentially left scared by such acts.
CK readers, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter as well.
Have you given your spouse a hall pass? If so, why or why don’t you agree with the belief?
Related Topics:
Is Celibacy Within Marriage Possible?
When You Know a Man Is No Good But Date Him Anyway
What Happens When You’re Not Marriage Material
What Happens When A No Good Man Loses A Good Woman
7 Signs You’re Losing Yourself In Your Relationship
1 Comment
Something I will NEVER understand or allow!