Is it normal for your guy to roam through your phone? Perhaps not. But ladies let’s be honest, it isn’t quite fair to roam through his either. This is one double standard many women may have a hard time admitting to.
The need to snoop through your mate’s phone only skims the surface of the trust issues you may have in your relationship. Ask yourself, why are you snooping? Do you have a reason to snoop or could it be on set by your own insecurities? Same goes for him.
You have to first address these underlying issues if you want to resolve the issue at hand. If you can’t trust each other then you don’t belong together. It’s as simple as that. Why waste time in a relationship you have little faith in?
Truth is, invading each others privacy causes more harm than good. Almost always! You see a flirty text from one of his female “friends” , he sees some wild pics from a ladies night out two Fridays ago, you both lose! Get my drift?
You have to establish some ground rules in your relationship. It’s actually necessary to cover all grounds so there’s no shade of gray. Rules you’ll both be comfortable with and can comply by. Perhaps, you shouldn’t remain friends with an ex. Especially an ex whose insistent on rekindling an old flame. Or maybe, your nights out with friends shouldn’t be so wild. Let me explain.
Of course, when you’re out with friends, this is usually the time to let your hair down a bit. You feel less inhibited. While your friends find your jokes hilarious your mate thinks they’re quite dull. And while the guy/girl checking you out at a party thinks you’re hot, your mate probably hasn’t noticed you’ve changed your hair. I get it, you want to feel wanted, appreciated even. A little harmless flirting is one thing, but remember, don’t do anything you’ll regret in the morning.
Speaking of party? Do you feel comfortable knowing your mate may share a dance or two with a complete stranger? If so, again, you have to establish some guide lines. What’s deemed appropriate, how long of a dance and just how close? Only the two of you can decide that. But, these are necessary conversations you have to have so there are misunderstandings. You’ll both in agreement and know what is or isn’t expected of you.
More conversations like these may even lessen the urge to snoop. If all else fails, you have to rely on one simple thing. And that’s called TRUST! And, you have to have it! Period.
Again, if you have doubts about your partner and their honesty with you that’s not a relationship you should waste your time in.
If your suspicions are brought by your insecurities, you may be jealous or issues stemming from your own past relationships, you probably shouldn’t be dating anyone. Your issues and past is just that, yours!
You can’t expect to move on and have a meaningful relationship if you’re still living in the past.
I hope my words have helped you some what, or have given you some inspiration on how to work out the issues in your relationship. If not, do yourself (and your mate) a favor, seek professional counseling.
Best wishes.
