What happens when you’re not marriage material? Not a damn thing.
Years ago marriage was seen a women’s means for survival. While men were taught to be providers for their families, women were taught to be great wives and mothers; attending to the household and raising the children.
So much has changed since then. These days, marriage is a choice. A woman can decide on whether she wants to be married or not.
In the wake of Halle Berry’s announcement that she and husband Olivier Martinez are getting a divorce; her third his first, critics of the actress were quick to drag her name through the mud.
The feminist in me always scream when I hear a woman getting critiqued for why she seemingly “can’t seem to keep a man.” But, who says she wants to be kept?
Halle Berry is a well-established Academy Award winning actress, philanthropist and mother of two.
If she no longer wants to be married, that is entirely her business.
The feminist movement was also about giving women a choice, the choice to be career driven, mothers, married or single, or whatever they want to be.
For whatever reason her marriages didn’t work, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with her. It also doesn’t give anyone the right to bash her either. Getting a divorce, however many, may have been the best choice for her. So, who are we to judge?
Men who’ve had multiples wives aren’t faced with the same criticisms. They aren’t faced with the stigma of being labeled, “unworthy of marriage” or “can’t keep a woman.”
It’s important that we do not send a message to young women that despite how successful and intelligent they are, if they aren’t married, they’re not valued.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be married, but, that shouldn’t be a woman’s sole priority. Furthermore, if a woman isn’t happy within her marriage, let’s say she isn’t being treated correctly, should she stay to keep up appearances?
In the past, women did stay in an unhappy marriage for that very reason or because they weren’t financially stable. It takes courage for anyone to leave a broken marriage and relationship despite what spectators will have to say.
If nothing else, we should give Halle credit for doing just that and wish her all the best for the sake of the children involved.
Furthermore, being “kept” or remaining married doesn’t qualify as a great woman either. If we can’t offer support the least we can do is remain quiet.
